成功，從來都是由夢想和努力組合而成的。

一夜暴富的翻译家

　　看《iMoney》，忽然很想認識書中的一位男士。想認識他，不是因為他不足三十歲已躋身千萬富翁之列，也不是因為他擁有一米八五的魁梧身段，而是他的傳奇人生非常引人入勝。他叫朱學恒，台灣人，熱愛打機，每天都花很多時間泡在網絡上，可這名「宅男」（台灣和內地對「電車男」的稱號）卻因自小瘋狂迷戀電子遊戲，為了明白遊戲中的英文操作與對白，於是拼命苦學英語；更迷上遊戲背後的歐美魔幻小說，於是他抱字典，把原著小說逐一通讀，奠定了深厚的文學根底。

 　　《魔戒》是全球公認最難翻译的文學作品之一，日本學者花了十年才完成繙譯，朱學恒卻在七個月內，朝六晚十，瘦掉四十四磅後，終於完成翻译本，大賺八百多萬港元版稅。嘩！翻译是一個如此掙錢的行業嗎？在香港，初出茅廬的翻译系畢業生，月薪只不過七八千元；以自由身性質翻译書本，每翻译一千字才得一百五十至二百元；為一齣六十分鐘的劇集翻译逾萬字，酬勞也只有數百元，報酬少，前景暗，令不少畢業生轉行。

　　一夜暴富後，別人忙購物享樂，朱學恒卻捐出身家，成立「奇幻文化藝術基金會」，鼓勵更多台灣青年踏上奇幻文學創作之路；又成立免費的大學課程網站「OOPS」，把麻省理工、哈佛等學院的課程講義與筆記等譯成中文，讓有志者自學成材。朱學恒的哲理是：「每個人都有自己最擅長的一件事，那你就應把這件事做到極致。」我們從沒想過打機原來可以演變成文學熱忱，再用賺來的財富達成夢想。

　　成功，從來都是由夢想和努力組合而成的。

 

 

10 Golden Lessons From Steve Jobs

“I think we’re having fun. I think our customers really like our products. And we’re always trying to do better.”

- Steve Jobs

His accomplishments and character helped define a generation and change the world. He is co-founder of the fairytale company we now know as Apple Computers. And he is the visionary of the personal computers world that led the entire computer hardware and software industry to restructure itself.

This man with boundless energy and charisma is also a master of hype, hyperbole and the catchy phrase. And even when he’s trying to talk normally, brilliant verbiage comes tumbling out.

Here’s a selection of some of the most insanely great things he said, golden lessons to help you succeed in life, Jobs-style:

1. Steve Jobs said: “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”

Innovation has no limits. The only limit is your imagination. It’s time for you to begin thinking out of the box. If you are involved in a growing industry, think of ways to become more efficient; more customer friendly; and easier to do business with. If you are involved in a shrinking industry – get out of it quick and change before you become obsolete; out of work; or out of business. And remember that procrastination is not an option here. Start innovating now!

2. Steve Jobs said: “Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”

There is no shortcut to excellence. You will have to make the commitment to make excellence your priority. Use your talents, abilities, and skills in the best way possible and get ahead of others by giving that little extra. Live by a higher standard and pay attention to the details that really do make the difference. Excellence is not difficult – simply decide right now to give it your best shot – and you will be amazed with what life gives you back.

3. Steve Jobs said: “The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

I’ve got it down to four words: “Do what you love.” Seek out an occupation that gives you a sense of meaning, direction and satisfaction in life. Having a sense of purpose and striving towards goals gives life meaning, direction and satisfaction. It not only contributes to health and longevity, but also makes you feel better in difficult times. Do you jump out of bed on Monday mornings and look forward to the work week? If the answer is ‘no’ keep looking, you’ll know when you find it.

4. Steve Jobs said: “You know, we don’t grow most of the food we eat. We wear clothes other people make. We speak a language that other people developed. We use a mathematics that other people evolved… I mean, we’re constantly taking things. It’s a wonderful, ecstatic feeling to create something that puts it back in the pool of human experience and knowledge.”

Live in a way that is ethically responsible. Try to make a difference in this world and contribute to the higher good. You’ll find it gives more meaning to your life and it’s a great antidote to boredom. There is always so much to be done. And talk to others about what you are doing. Don’t preach or be self-righteous, or fanatical about it, that just puts people off, but at the same time, don’t be shy about setting an example, and use opportunities that arise to let others know what you are doing.

5. Steve Jobs said: “There’s a phrase in Buddhism, ‘Beginner’s mind.’ It’s wonderful to have a beginner’s mind.”

It is the kind of mind that can see things as they are, which step by step and in a flash can realize the original nature of everything. Beginner’s mind is Zen practice in action. It is the mind that is innocent of preconceptions and expectations, judgements and prejudices. Think of beginner’s mind as the mind that faces life like a small child, full of curiosity and wonder and amazement.

6. Steve Jobs said: “We think basically you watch television to turn your brain off, and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on.”

Reams of academic studies over the decades have amply confirmed television’s pernicious mental and moral influences. And most TV watchers know that their habit is mind-numbing and wasteful, but still spend most of their time in front of that box. So turn your TV off and save some brain cells. But be cautious, you can turn your brain off by using a computer also. Try and have an intelligent conversation with someone who plays first person shooters for 8 hours a day. Or auto race games, or role-playing games.

7. Steve Jobs said: “I’m the only person I know that’s lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one year…. It’s very character-building.”

Don’t equate making mistakes with being a mistake. There is no such thing as a successful person who has not failed or made mistakes, there are successful people who made mistakes and changed their lives or performance in response to them, and so got it right the next time. They viewed mistakes as warnings rather than signs of hopeless inadequacy. Never making a mistake means never living life to the full.

8. Steve Jobs said: “I would trade all of my technology for an afternoon with Socrates.”

Over the last decade, numerous books featuring lessons from historical figures have appeared on the shelves of bookstores around the world. And Socrates stands with Leonardo da Vinci, Nicholas Copernicus, Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein as a beacon of inspiration for independent thinkers. But he came first. Cicero said of Socrates that, “He called philosophy down from the skies and into the lives of men.” So use Socrates’ principles in your life, your work, your learning, and your relationships. It’s not about Socrates, it’s really about you, and how you can bring more truth, beauty and goodness into your life everyday.

9. Steve Jobs said: “We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?”

Did you know that you have big things to accomplish in life? And did you know that those big things are getting rather dusty while you pour yourself another cup of coffee, and decide to mull things over rather than do them? We were all born with a gift to give in life, one which informs all of our desires, interests, passions and curiosities. This gift is, in fact, our purpose. And you don’t need permission to decide your own purpose. No boss, teacher, parent, priest or other authority can decide this for you. Just find that unique purpose.

10. Steve Jobs said: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Are you tired of living someone else’s dream? No doubt, its your life and you have every right to spend it in your own individual way without any hurdles or barriers from others. Give yourself a chance to nurture your creative qualities in a fear-free and pressure-free climate. Live a life that YOU choose and be your own boss.

 

10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

1. Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When you’re hair-trigger primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.
2. Ease up on the internal life commentary. If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, what this or that event really means. Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event really means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.
3. Take no notice of your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway?
4. Give up on feeling guilty. Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane.
5. Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you. Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you.
6. Stop keeping score. Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.
7. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned. The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality.
8. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions. To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.
9. Don’t worry about about your personality. You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part—usually through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way.

 

专门知识及另类视野

兩次世界大戰之間，德國的一位化學家潛心研究殺菌的有效方法。每天傍晚在離開實驗室前，他習慣在布氐碟子上培植細菌，到次日早上便嘗試以各種方法消滅這些微生物。過了一段日子，他發現培植的細菌總有不少莫名其妙死掉，又發現死掉的細菌上面都布滿了霉菌孢子。他認定了殺害細菌的孢子來自在黑暗角落裏滋生的霉素，於是便把實驗室徹底消毒。後來，他在化學期刊上報告了這次消滅細菌的戰役，說現在已排除了障礙，可繼續研究了。可惜，他卻一直未能在實驗裏找到有效的殺菌藥品。

　　如果當年這位化學家兼有一點生物化學或生物學的視野，或偶然能躍離化學科研工作的行為框框的話，那麼發現青霉素（盤尼西林）而獲諾貝爾獎的便是他，而不是佛林明（Alexander Fleming）。幾年後，佛林明也是於某天早上在實驗室裏發現培植中的細菌被窗外飄來污物殺死，而圍繞死菌群落的正是霉菌孢子，但是他並沒有把碟子洗乾淨便算，卻仔細研究這些孢子，結果便發現了青霉素。奇怪的是，德國那位化學家要在實驗裏找尋的，也正是今天我們說的「抗生素」，當時已在眼底，他卻視而不見。

　　哥洛普里（A. J. Cropley）在《教育與學習中的創意》一書裏探討專業知識在創新行為的作用，提到了上面的故事。這是一個很值得注意的弔詭：例如李政道與楊振寧在一九五八年，要探討Ｗ介子問題，便有意絕不去閱讀同行在這方面的理論文獻，自己從頭做起，雖然多花了氣力，卻成功避開了其他人把研究帶進了死胡同的隱性假設。……但如果說專門知識愈少，創新能力便愈佳，也非如此簡單—即使天才橫溢的莫扎特，雖然四歲便已公開演奏鋼琴，也要到十多歲，積累到有關知識及技術後，才開始作曲。

　　近年的不少研究結果，確已證明了如果長期浸淫在某一領域或成為該領域的專家，雖確可擁有產生新意的知識基礎，卻也可能導致隧道視野，使思路陷於庸常。人們還必須具備另一些質素，例如要能對眼前靈感開放胸懷，又例如能以嶄新的目光審視自己的專業思路。Heijden便曾對一千位企業人進行研究，發現專精的能耐也包括五個維度：除特殊的知識與技能外，也要兼備「前認知能力」及「成長彈性」：前者是一種對自己思考形態的洞察，後者便是跨越領域的能力。

　　真正有創意的學者當然已具備高深的知識，卻往往也擁有新人的活力與開放心懷。哥洛普里參加過「張力症候群」發現人Hans Selye的一次演講，後者到場時，整條腿由股至踵都包紮，原來這七十歲老頭子幾天前看到實驗室外大樹頂上似有奇趣之事，竟要爬上去看個明白，結果卻失手掉了下來。　

 

28岁的管理人

 

廿八歲的管理人 憑遠見．毅力上位

炎炎6月，又是一眾莘莘學子投身社會工作的日子。在部分僱主眼中，這批初出茅廬的年輕人經常嫌工作辛苦，又騎牛搵馬，而且對自己的未來工作全無規劃。「年輕」兩字彷彿成為職場上的障礙物，不過年僅28歲的AIA最年輕的資深區域經理王傲山(Marcus)，卻展示出只要清楚知道自己的事業路向，年紀輕亦能轉化成為一個超級大優勢。

王傲山小檔案

年齡：28歲

職銜：AIA資深區域經理專業資格：美國註冊財務策劃師

威水史：1.於2001-2005年獲選為國際公認的百萬圓桌會(MDRT)會員，其中2003-2004年更成為當中的頂尖會員(TopoftheTable)，為業界最高殊榮。

2.團隊成立短短兩年，由兩人急速發展至60人，預計今年年尾會發展至100人，其發展速度是全東南亞最快的。

網址：www.marcus.com.hk

具遠見清楚未來事業路向

當大部分的年輕人在畢業後，為了尋找一份自己喜歡的工作而經常轉工時，Marcus卻認為「比起尋找自己鍾意的職業，反而選擇一份適合自己的工作，然後將之變成或培養成自己的興趣更加重要。」抱着這個觀念的Marcus，在97年由加拿大讀書返港後，便決心找一份與金融有關的工作。當時19歲的他看到銀行業的工作較為刻板，於是便向任職保險的爸爸王嘉倫問路，最後Marcus決定加入保險業。「因為這行較專業且不太刻板，再加上能夠接觸不同類型的客人，可以加快自己學習的速度。」

改變性格迎合工作

由於工作要經常接觸不同類型的客人，性格較內向的Marcus在入行後，便改變自己的性格以迎合工作的需要。當中有困難嗎？「我覺得人很Flexible，只要有動力，鍾意份工便可以改。」於是工作初期，Marcus每次見客之前，都會做足功課，找話題與客戶傾談。「我會抱着每次傾談都是向人學習的機會，只要抱有好奇心、求知慾，要找話題並不難。」如是者，經過9個月的訓練後，Marcus對於找話題，已是駕輕就熟。工作了一年多，Marcus便確定自己適合從事保險行業發展。「工作內容並沒有最初想像中的困難，第一年已找到120個客戶，同時在這批客人中，首年已有兩人因健康問題而取得賠償，當時覺得這份工作分外有意思，能夠幫助別人，而且人工亦較其他同學的高。」

勇於接受高難度挑戰

除了確定自己適合的行業外，Marcus亦都在工作後一年清楚地計畫自己的未來事業路向。「雖然我是由人壽保險顧問做起，但隨着公司加入財務策劃(FinancialPlanning)的服務，我便決定轉型，將生意主力放在財務策劃上，而不是在保險上，所以我由那時起便提升自己在這方面的相關知識及客戶群，並且集中選擇做一些複雜或較大的個案，如企業稅務、遺產規劃等。」結果Marcus成功做到別人當時不夠膽做的事情──成為保險市場第一批轉做財務策劃的團隊。他坦言，在事業上勇於嘗試、接受高難度的挑戰，是深受現時任職AIA區域執行總監的父親影響。「爸爸在30年前由政府翻譯主任，轉投保險行業。當時他身邊的人都覺得他很儍，為甚麼會放棄一份高薪厚職、人人認為好的工作，而偏要揀別人覺得辛苦及困難的事業。結果，爸爸現時在保險界不但擁有2,000多人的團隊，而且工作穩定、人工高及可控制自己的工作時間。」可見要比別人取得更大的成就，有時要勇於接受高難度的挑戰。

最重要持之有恆有紀律

時下的上班一族，不論是後生一批，或是富工作經驗的一群，都忙於工餘進修，Marcus也不例外。除了忙着打拼事業及公職外，Marcus還會抽空進修一下相關的知識，今年年頭更取得美國註冊財務策劃師(RFP)認證。對於進修學習的心得，Marcus坦言：「最重要是有紀律。」他續稱，「每天由家裏駕車往公司的45分鐘，心裏都會掙扎究竟聽盧覓雪、杜汶澤的節目開心輕鬆一下，還是聽財經台，收聽多些的財經市場資訊，以便有助平日的工作。」他強調，紀律是很重要的，因此他通常會一星期5日有4日收聽財經，1日聽杜汶澤的 節目。此外，他亦會與基金經理、財經前輩在茶餘飯 後傾偈，獲得更多關於實踐性的基金財務資訊。 愛聽Audio Tape為了爭取時間吸收多些知識，Marcus喜歡一邊做運動，一邊聽AudioTape。「最近聽的AudioTape是StephenR.Covey所寫的《The7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeople》。」雖然Marcus已聽過這AudioTape無數次，但每次聽也有不同的得着。今次再聽到第3個習慣「PutFirstThingFirst」時，令他對時間管理有另一個看法。「一般香港人會認為在最短的時間做最多的事情，便是有效的時間管理。不過，當時間有限，工作量愈來愈多時，PutFirstThingFirst安排做事的先後次序，便顯得相當重要，否則時間完了，卻沒有做到最重要的事情，也不算是好的時間管理。」

受管理學者 Tom Peters 影響

現時Marcus的團隊有60多人，其中不乏40-50歲的資歷深的人士。一張孩子臉的他要作他們的管理人，有甚麼秘訣呢？「由於他們既有良好的事業發展，而且又清楚自己的事業路向，因此我會對他們如合作夥伴般看待。」他說。要成為新一代的管理人，Marcus看了不少管理學的書籍，當中最愛的是熟悉新舊管理學的學者TomPeters。「他曾經提到今日的管理人(Leader)想了解不同部門的事情，便先要參與其中，而GE(通用電器)的前CEOJackWelch便曾為此，試過洗廁所拖地。」這讓Marcus領悟到要成為Leader，必須要言行一致，所以每次為團隊訂下目標後，他都會率先實行。「Leader之所以是Leader，是他帶領眾人身先士卒，否則他只是Manager而已。」

 

Advice to Young Men from an Old Man

Advice to Young Men from an Old Man

1. Don’t pick on the weak. It’s immoral. Don’t antagonize the strong without cause, its stupid.

2. Don’t hate women. It’s a waste of time

3. Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self actualized.

4. Get in a fistfight, even if you are going to lose.

5. As a former Marine, take it from me. Don’t join the military, unless you want to risk getting your balls blown off to secure other people’s economic or political interests.

6. If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent’s intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try to feed you.

7. Don’t be a Republican. They are self-dealing crooks with no sense of honor or patriotism to their fellow citizens. If you must be a Republican, don’t be a “conservative.” They are whining, bitching, complaining, simple-minded self-righteous idiots who think they’re perpetual victims. Listen to talk radio for a while, you’ll see what I mean.

8. Don’t take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don’t want to come off as cynical.

9. You’ll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how much you owe them. You don’t owe the vast majority of people shit.

10. Don’t undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that come after you. Society recognizes that you have the potential to be the most power force in society. It scares them. Society does not find young men sympathetic. They are afraid of you, both individually and collectively. Law enforcement’s primary purpose is to suppress you.

11. As a young man, you’re on your own. Society divides and conquers. Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women’s Study Departments, government, non-profit organizations, political advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you.

12. Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men or women that created the revolution we live. Realize that society steals your contributions, secures it with our intellectual property laws, and then takes credit and the rewards where none is due.

13. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.

14. Don’t be afraid to tell people to “Fuck off” when need be. It is an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your piece, even if your voice shakes.

15. Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn to read body language and non-verbal communication. Don’t just concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you’ll find your wife fucking somebody else.

16. Keep fit.

17. Don’t speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the world, even if she’s wrong. She should know that you have her back. When she needs your help, give it. She should know that you’ll take her part.

18. Don’t cheat on your wife/girlfriend. If you must cheat, don’t humiliate her. Don’t risk having your transgressions come back to her or her friends. Don’t do it where you live. Don’t do it with people in your social circle. Don’t shit in your own back yard.

19. If your girlfriend doesn’t make you feel good about yourself and bring joy to your life, fire her. That’s what girlfriends are for.

20. Don’t bother with “emotional affairs.” They are just a vehicle for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. That’s the part of a relationship they want. For you it is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an emotional affair with you, they’re probably fucking someone else.

21. Becoming a woman’s friend and confidant is not going to get you into an intimate relationship. If you haven’t gotten the girl within a reasonably short period of time, chances are you won’t ever get her. She’ll end up confiding to you about the sexual adventures she’s having with someone else.

22. Have and nurture friendships with women.

23. Realize that love is a numbers game. Guys fall in love easily. You’re going to see some girl and feel like you’ll die if you don’t get her. If she rejects you, move on to the next one. It’s her loss.

24. Don’t be an internet troll. Got out and live life. There is not a cadre of beautiful women advertising on Craigslist to have NSA sex with you. Beautiful women don’t need to advertise. The websites that advertise with attractive women’s photos and claims of loneliness are baloney. All they want is your money and your personal information so that they can market to you. The posts on Craigslist by young “women” seeking NSA sex, and asking for a picture are just a bunch of gay troll pic collectors. This is especially true if the post uses common gay lexicon like “hole” as in “fuck my hole” or seeks “masculine” men, or uses the word cock (except in the context of “Don’t send a cock shot.”) There are women on Craigslist. They are easily recognizable by their 2-5 paragraph postings. Most are in their 30’s or older.

25. When you become a man in full, know that people will get in your way. People who are attracted to you will somehow manage to step in your path. Gay guys will give you “the look.” Old people will somehow stumble in front of you at the worst time. Don’t get frustrated. Just step aside and go about your business. Know that these are passive aggressive methods to get you to acknowledge their existence.

26. Don’t gay bash. Don’t mentally or physically abuse people because of who they are, or how they present themselves. It’s none of your business to try to intimidate people into conformity.

27. If your gay, admit it to yourself, your parents, your friends and society at large. Be prepared to get harassed. See rule 14. If someone threatens you or assaults you, call the cops. Have them arrested. You have no obligation to self sacrifice because of who you are. As a gay person, you’ll have more social freedom than straight men. Use it to protect yourself. Be prepared to get out of Dodge if your orientation makes your life unbearable. Move to San Francisco, New York, Atlanta, or New Orleans. You’ll find a welcoming community there.

28. Don’t be a poser. Avoid being one of those dudes who puts a surfboard on top of their car, but never surfs, or a dude with a powder coated fixed gear bike and a messenger bag, but was never a messenger. Live the life. Earn your bona fides.

29. Don’t believe the crap about the patriarchy. More women are accepted and attend college. More degrees are awarded to women than men. Women outlive men. More men commit suicide. Men are twice as likely to be victims of violence, including murder. If you consider sexual assaults in prisons, twice as many men are raped as women (society thinks prison rape is funny). The streets are littered with homeless men, sprinkled with a few homeless women. Statically, women are happier than men. The myth that girls are being cheated by are educational system is belied by the fact that schools are bastions of femininity, mostly run by and taught by women. Girls outperform boys in school. It is the boys in school getting fucked over, and prescribed ritalin for being boys. Real wages for men are falling, while real wages for women are rising. Just because someone says something enough times, doesn’t make it true. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

30. Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.

 

Why Intelligent People Tend To Be Unhappy

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

- Ernest Hemingway, author and journalist, Nobel laureate (1899-1961)

Hemingway, who took his own life in 1961, knew his share of both intelligent people and of unhappiness. He lived through two world wars, the Great Depression, four wives and an unknown number of failed romantic relationships, none of which would help him to develop happiness if he knew how.

As Hemingway’s quote was based on his life experience, I will base  the following speculation on both my personal and my professional experience as a sociologist. Not enough study exists to quote on this subject.

Western society is not set up to nurture intelligent children and adults, the way it dotes over athletes and sports figures, especially the outstanding ones. While we have the odd notable personality such as Albert Einstein, we also have many extremely intelligent people working in occupations that are considered among the lowliest, as may be attested by a review of the membership lists of Mensa (the club for the top two percent on intelligence scales).

Education systems in countries whose primary interest is in wealth accumulation encourage heroes in movies, war and sports, but not in intellectual development. Super intelligent people manage, but few reach the top of the business or social ladder.

Children develop along four streams: intellectual, physical, emotional (psychological) and social. In classrooms, the smartest kids tend to be left out of more activities by other children than they are included in. They are “odd,” they are the geeks, they are social outsiders. In other words, they do not develop socially as well as they may develop intellectually or even physically where opportunities may exist for more progress.

Their emotional development, characterized by their ability to cope with risky or stressful situations, especially over long periods of time, also lags behind that of the average person.

Adults tend to believe that intelligent kids can deal with anything because they are intellectually superior. This inevitably includes situations where the intelligent kids have neither knowledge nor skills to support their experience. They go through the tough times alone. Adults don’t understand that they need help and other kids don’t want to associate with kids the social leaders say are outsiders.

As a result we have many highly intelligent people whose social development progresses much slower than that of most people and they have trouble coping with the stressors of life that present themselves to everyone. It should come as no surprise that the vast majority of prison inmates are socially and emotionally underdeveloped or maldeveloped and a larger than average percentage of them are more intelligent than the norm.

Western society provides the ideal incubator for social misfits and those with emotional coping problems. When it comes to happiness, people who are socially inept and who have trouble coping emotionally with the exigencies of life would not be among those you should expect to be happy.

This may be changing in the 21st century as the geeks gain recognition as people with great potential, especially as people who might make their fortune in the world of high technology. Geeks may be more socially accepted than in the past, but unless they receive more assistance with their social and emotional development, most are destined to be unhappy as they mature in the world of adults.

People with high intelligence, be they children or adults, still rank as social outsiders in most situations, including their skills to be good mates and parents.

Moreover, they tend to see more of the tragedy in the communites and countries they live in, and in the world, than the average person whose primary source of news and information is comedy shows on television. Tragedy is easier to find than compassion, even though compassion likely exists in greater proportion in most communities.

 

16 things it takes most of us 50 years to learn

Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 years to learn:

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

6. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

11. You should not confuse your career with your life.

12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15. Your true friends love you, anyway.

16. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.