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無人會相信,美國首府華盛頓是異怪人之都,匯集一大批荒謬和病態人種,有神經質的痴人、有短視狂而昏的猛人,有阿諛巴結的犬儒人人,有思想空洞的傀儡人、對任何主意也附和的點頭人、對待任何事情也沒有真誠,處處冷嘲熱諷的的媚俗 人、只有肉體生活沒有靈性的肉人、尼采筆下不懂超越又愛故作姿態帶酸的未人、不顧事實胡說一通喜歡抹黑和搞臭的妄人畜人、甚麼也反對而自己卻毫無辦法在大判決中愛大聲聲討別人的陰人讒人,怪不得棟篤show 的人嘲笑政治世界是醜人娛樂圈。

事實上,在擠滿形形式式性格的地方,如果你不是位高權重或是電視人物,要在華府問鼎最耀眼人物獨領風騷談何容易,然而這以男爵封號專稱的 Edward Joseph von Kolberg III並不起眼,非政界中亦非娛樂界中的人物,一生夠傳奇,死後的繪形繪聲從未靜絕。

「生命是由你一生遇上的人構成的」是Baron von Kloberg 的名言。也許,這是他從一生浮世繪般的周遊列國和豪門夜宴體驗出的「真理」。「當人的性格黯然淡下時,生命也差不多了。」這是他 Puccini 普契尼:Tosca《托斯卡》式自殺前說的話。

Baron von Kloberg 規矩:

第一條:他著名的飯局永遠只限十二人,他對所有出席的客人宣告第二條:未有坐下前記緊搞清楚從哪裡溜。

在一些人眼中,Baron von Kloberg 是被世界或社會排斥的人的代言人,他是專制統治者和暴君的政治化妝師,他的小黑本內充斥著邪惡世界表表者的電話號碼,包括烏干達的阿敏(Idi Amin)、羅馬尼亞的壽西斯古 (Nicolae Ceausescu),利比亞的杜伊(Samuel Doe)、伊拉克的侯賽因 (Saddam Hussein)、剛果的蒙博托、盧安達的哈比亞里瑪納 (Juvenal Habyarimana ),尼日利亞的阿巴查(General Abacha)等。據說,Baron von Kloberg臨終前正商談的新客戶是北韓,只要你願意付出每天美金五千大元的價碼,你便可換取他渾身解數的政治公關魔術,他不介意為不同國界的魔頭上妝,他相信合適的粉刷可以掩蓋罪行,付出足夠的代價,魔頭也可令人接受,在他的眼裹,根本沒有輿論是不能扭曲的。

「創造事實」是Baron von Kloberg 拿手技倆。一九四二年一月九日於紐約出生的Edward Kloberg,父親是建造公屋的工程師,他和妹妹成長在安穩的中產之家,考進普林斯頓大學是他人生第一個轉捩點;他在大學初窺上層社會的表層生活,不知道是不是這一刻令他立下決心一生要 party 得比別人出色。他生前擺設的盛宴至今還為人津津樂道,他的衣?騔蜈@化如拉斯維加斯的Liberace,大桃紅的袍子還要群上金邊,襟上還要掛滿勳章。

從紐約到華盛頓,Edward Kloberg 第一個決定是在名字內加上Van 一字,以添貴氣。一九八二年他成立政治公關公司,有一則笑話說他向美國知名記者Arnaud de Borchgrave 遞上名片,當場被Arnaud de Borchgrave 諷刺:「德語中顯貴是Von 而不是Van」,Edward Kloberg毫不介意也無靦腆地回答:「謝謝!那我乾脆加上男爵更好。」

以後他的名片印上

“Le baron von Kloberg

Chairman and Founder, Washington World Group, Limited, International Consultants “

Kloberg 的內心知道客戶都是聲名狼藉,只有大膽的言論才可引起傳媒報道的興趣,他深諳以好洒美食為餌,加上出位言行必能爭取一定篇幅的方程式,他那些歪理確實是「語不驚人誓不休」,他曾為侯賽因屠殺庫爾德人這樣辯說:「以毒氣殺庫爾德人,因為要阻止伊斯蘭原教旨主義在阿拉伯世界蔓延,已經別無他法。」

曾經有英國雜誌《Spy》捉弄他,偽裝為新納粹組織的頭目,以百萬美元利誘Baron von Kloberg,包裝新納粹思想然後到華府游說,Kloberg 欣然受任,結果成為政界的大笑柄。

二○○二年,Kloberg在前往巴黎途中心臟病發被迫退休,雖然他賺取過不少錢,但遠不夠他揮霍,最終資不抵債,被債權人收樓,衣服也被拍賣精光,風光不再的他,靠借貸渡日。失意的Kloberg萌生自殺念頭,事先宣揚的自殺事件倒也戲劇化,Kloberg 四處告訴別人他各種自盡的方式,甚至打電話到《華盛頓郵報》要求編輯和他商談如何撰寫訃聞。

二○○五年, Kloberg 獨自飛往羅馬,四月三十日,六十三歲的Kloberg 去了Tosca《托斯卡》式自殺的地點Castel Sant’Angelo ,從二十樓高的城牆一躍而下了結殘生。在他身上發現遺書和跟老布殊總統的合照,他最後的說話沒有任何誇言巧語,紙上寫?鞳G「我生命最後的階段只在黑暗中回想以住及失去了的一切。」

《華盛頓郵報》還是再把他放在頭條:”Tyrant’s Lobbyist, Flamboyant to the End.”

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give me a break

Obsession

华人青年其实很优秀,可惜缺乏西方乐观积极的正向思考能力,时常处于迷惘,无助的状况。

新年愿望:少一些!

物欲少一些,懒惰少一些,脾气少一些,杂念少一些!

新年至今都在看Andy Warhol的自传,书中的第一章,已经深深敲入我的心扉,其中,沃荷这样写着

“在我的人生中,当我 [感觉到] 最为合群并寻求知心好友的时候,我找不到任何接受者,因此在我最孤单时正是我最不想要孤单的时候。

而当我决定孤单一人,不要任何人跟我诉说他们的问题的那一刻起,每一个我生平连见都没见过的人,都开始追着我跟我说那些我决定最好不要去听的事。

一旦我在心理认定我是个独行侠之际,也正是我得到一群你可称之为[追随着] 的时候。

一旦你停止欲求某个东西,你就会得到它。我觉得这真是绝对不变的真理。

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the 3 things that…..

1. Three things that scare me:
boring, cynical, rude

2. Three people that make me laugh:
Jack black, Stephen Chow, my raksasa cousin

3. Three things I dont really like:
washing clothes, folding Clothes, noisy

4. Three things I don’t understand:
Human killing each and other, hatred , people wearing check and stripes pattern clothes at the same time

5. Three things I’m doing right now:
express myself honestly (inspired by Bruce Lee)
Listening to CRHK
thinking wat movie to watch later

6. Three things I want to do before I die:
watching an international fashion show
visit South America
taking virgin galaxy airplane to outer space

7. Three things I can do:
breath, eat, laugh

8. Three ways to describe my personality:
shy, outgoing, sensitive

9. Three things I can’t do:
wink(which i hate), reach my hands onto the floor, ……….
10. Three things I think you should listen to:
a lof of music, birds chirping in the sunday morning,

11. Three things you should never listen to:
boss, M’sian government, ***

12. Three things I’d like to learn:
pilates, dancing, Tai Chi

13. Three favourite foods:
wat a hard question to answer!!!

14. Three beverages I drink regularly:
water, chinese tea, hot yin yang (hot cham)

15. Three shows I watched as a kid:
thundercat, doreamon, smurf

16. Three people I’m tagging (to do this):
Kelvin Lee, me, myself

重現內心的積極與優雅是減肥的最大動力,而這股力量來自於自己:

1.Don´t panic because of a new trend
Yellow, for example, was said to be hip last summer, but hardly anybody I knew wore it… simply because most people don´t look good in yellow.

2.Clothes don´t have to be expensive
But always look out for quality. Rather invest into one really good basic than waste money on five shabby tops.

3.The most important bit of your outfit is your shoes or your bag
If you go for plastic, you´ll always look like a cheap tourist heading for the local fake market.

4.Less is more, especially with accessories
I´ve never been into lots of jewellery, so that´s not a problem for me. The chandelier effect and pink plastic watches go for Barbie dolls, not for real girls. I recently bought a fantastic leather belt that was not too expensive and since then, I wore it like a hundred times, because it simply matches almost everything I own.

5.Go for basics
You at least need one black skirt, one black shirt, one plain jeans and a pair of high heels…the rest is up to you, but no matter what you buy later on, you can always dress-up/dress-down your basics. My friend made me get another point here: it´s going to save you nerves and time to have a kind of emergency plan for spontaneous invitations and stuff like that. I now always have a set of clothes ready in the drawer to pull out when somebody calls me like ‘I´ll fetch you in 10 minutes, right’?

6.Simplify your life
Every piece you haven´t put on for six months… you don´t have to throw it away, but take it out of your drawer and put it into a well-closing cardbox or so. And then get it out of sight. After another six months, get it back out and have a look again. Maybe you like to wear it again, otherwise give it away to a charity shop. Or you might add some extras. Like getting pearls or leather ribbons sewn onto a plain jeans or shirt.

7.Show what you like, hide what you don´t like
As easy as that. If you don´t like your legs, for instance, don´t hide them in a tent-like shirt and don´t wear mini-skirts because you´d like to look sexy. Just look out for a different cut of pants. And can somebody please stop that fuzziness about push-up bras? If you don´t have tits, so what? I haven´t.

8.Clever savings
I was lucky enough to be in a family background where money was not a problem, but when I was in school, I still had a limited amount of pocket money to spend as my parents didn´t want me to become a silly snobbish bitch. So I always put some money aside to get my hair cut, to get my nails done and to get my shoes fixed when that was necessary. And it´s always great to know somebody who´s a hairdresser, jeweller or shop assistant… so do you really know your neighbours?

9.Be gracious and comfortable with yourself
It doesn´t matter whether your dress was 10 or 1000 pounds. I have so, so many things I found on flee markets or top-shop sale.

10.I don´t have ANYTHING to wear!
Well, everybody feels like that some day. Because whatever you choose, it doesn´t look as good as it should. And that´s so me. Stay at home and cancel meetings. Sun will shine tomorrow than, so what?

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